Possessed

And I finally saw you again after 35 days out of sight, and my heart made ridiculous bounds, then I realized that I was not in love with YOU, but the idea of you I was picturing myself. Truth is, you are way far from what I imagined, and what I would want you to be. But this doesn't change a thing. You're still in my heart and on my lonely mind. Coming back home I saw loads of couples, and it hurts so bad that I don't really dream of it anymore. There's no one I could expect to build something with, no one but you. And since you don't care at all and destroyed all my emerging grounds, I'll close down my heart 'til I'm over you. Until I realize the fun you've made of me and the mess I've become. Until I can destroy your new grounds like you did with mine. Or just until I'm completely through with you, as if I couldn't even remember your name or the tiny "thing" we had together. Tonight hurt me. Because of the high heels I wore to be attractive to you, and because you are so beautiful, it burnt my eyes and my heart deep inside. I'll get over this, someday. I just reckon it takes time. I just expect it will not last a lifetime. 'Cause whenever I see you, I feel both ecstatic and dying deep inside. And it's just not normal. And 'cause I can already see myself arrive at the Pearly Gates. Gosh, it's fucking time.