Where is my mind ?

All these memories pinned in my soul, tacked up on my heart like photographs showing signs of age on the walls. While I recall all of them late at night and try to put the pieces of past happiness together, there's laughs in the streets, other people living out there, rain falling down; I can't even understand it and it freaks the hell out of me. It just sometimes feels like clocks stopped turning when I got back in here, like life stopped going on when all of this ended. I'm homesick for a place that doesn't exist anymore. But still haunting me in such a blurred way. Was it all just a dream ?
But all these sleepless nights just show it wasn't. Insomnia gives me time to think about it every night hour so that I can't forget. And I miss all of this so much it could kill me if it wasn't the hope of living it again that kept me going breathing.